you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
