dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You are the jesus of drinking
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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