Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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