did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Girls should come with a carfax report
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
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He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
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Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize