He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
