Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You're like the curious george of whores
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize