We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
