Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i think my tv is drunk
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
