i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
