Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
