Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
