Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
