if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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