Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
