better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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