so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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