Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i died would you start the facebook group?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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