I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
