i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
How's work?
Spinning.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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