I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Randomize
