He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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