Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
we made out on top of his cat.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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