we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
