yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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