There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
