Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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