he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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