but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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