I heard we made out
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
