i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
