we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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