Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
