You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
