So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
