You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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