Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
