How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
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