I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
