I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
