It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I cut my penus on the lid.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
