your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
