Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
