I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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