God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
