did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
