I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
