so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
