She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
