She is in my trunk
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
