I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
