This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
