He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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