I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
