Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize