im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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