I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
