He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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