Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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