So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
