3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I think a kid would responsible me up
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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