If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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