two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
