We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
